keep_busy | slow progress

Eventually Annie goes home for the day. Her mother lives a long but doable walk from campus, but Annie makes the trip by tricycle for speed and safety, or bus when the ice is too bad to allow riding. This is a trike day.

She tells her mother as straightforwardly as she can what has happened.

Her mother wants to meet the boy, but accepts that this should probably wait until the situation with Zevaia changes one way or another.

A few hours after Annie gets home, she gets a call from the Dean's office. There are results in; she can go hear them at the office. Apparently they're not supposed to release them over the phone for some obscure reason of policy.

Coat goes back on Annie, Annie goes back on trike, trike goes back on campus.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

touchedinthehead

This is not the information that Aldaras wanted.

His first reaction is not thinking of how Annie really genuinely deserves to know this information, but: "... Is there any way you can steer it towards whether it can fix the cut or not? Please?"

From:

alicornucopia

"We can ask him, but except for him being able not to retread ground he doesn't have perfect fine control over what he learns. I'm sorry."

From:

touchedinthehead

"Thanks, anyway," he sighs. "I need to go, for obvious reasons."

He waves, and turns to exit the office.

Annie is still in class. Aldaras - genuinely doesn't want to interrupt. Not because he was stupid and impatient. He finds out where exactly her class is - briskly as is possible, to assuage the impending guilt. And then, quite deliberately, he sits outside instead of barging in.

He is a terrible person he should be telling her this information right this second-

(No, he shouldn't, it's not important enough to actually interrupt her over.)

She needs to know right now, right now, why is he so callous, he can go fix it and she can know things that are important, and this is very important-

(It is important. He's not denying it. But he was the idiot that learned about it on purpose before her class was over. She had nothing to do with it, she shouldn't have her life interrupted over it.)

He is an abomination upon the world.

(He sits. He stays sitting, head buried in his hands. He focuses on breathing. Breathing is good. Breathing is a thing he needs to keep doing while his artifact's effect is currently waging war on his head.)

From:

alicornucopia

The door opens!

It's not Annie; it's one of her classmates nipping out to go to the bathroom. He looks quizzically at Aldaras but doesn't address him.

From:

touchedinthehead

Aldaras doesn't notice him. He's kind of busy right now.

It's amazing, how horrible guilt can feel. So bad that he'd almost want to do anything to make it stop. Except he wants to be better than that, better than some idiot animal ruled by emotions that aren't even his.

Quite frankly, fuck the guilt, he has made up his mind and he is sticking to it.

From:

keep_busy

About twenty minutes later, the class actually lets out.

Annie's in a knot of other students and doesn't spot him right away.

From:

touchedinthehead

He doesn't spot her either. Guilt, guilt, guilt. (Screw the guilt, screw the torture, he is responsible for his own actions, this is his fault. He knew what he was getting into and he has made up his mind.)

From:

keep_busy

"Hey, mister, you okay?" asks someone, and then Annie looks.

A moment later she's on her knees next to Aldaras. "What - what - just tell me, get it over with, it can't be that bad - is it too private to say in front of people, do we need to go somewhere else?"

From:

touchedinthehead

Oh. Annie's here. Okay then, he's - proud of himself, he guesses. (Ow.)

"S'fine. The necklace's effect," he says tightly, "is reciprocal if touched by the - object of affection. As in, it's symmetrical."

And then the crushing guilt and urge to die are gone, and he has room to do more than breathe.

From:

keep_busy

"Why did they tell you that?"

From:

touchedinthehead

"Because, I was going stir-crazy and asked them to tell me."

From:

keep_busy

"And they didn't think you'd be this st- - how long have you been sitting here?"

From:

touchedinthehead

"I have," he laughs, "no idea."

From:

keep_busy

"Why ask them, why didn't you just read a book or - or audit a lecture or bake cookies or something to pass the time - or realize that you'd been an idiot and lean into the classroom so I could pop out for the fifteen seconds it would take to tell me - or otherwise do something that didn't involve parking outside my Jaillais class and being miserable? I didn't even know you were there! Are you trying to make me feel like I need to follow you around twenty-four hours a day lest you hurt yourself?"

Edited Date: 2014-08-01 06:29 am (UTC)

From:

touchedinthehead

"No. I'm - nothing I could do would have been productive. I'm not usually this stupid, but my sister's slowly dying. And I have nothing productive to do to solve this problem. I'm waiting on the Dean."

From:

keep_busy

"If you can't be productive the least you can do is not be destructive."

From:

touchedinthehead

"I'm not being destructive towards anyone else," he points out.

From:

keep_busy

"Oh, I look happy and carefree to you?" Annie snaps.

From:

touchedinthehead

"No," he sighs. "I'm sorry."

From:

keep_busy

Annie sighs and sits on the floor, thunking her head against the wall softly.

"Don't. Okay?"

From:

touchedinthehead

"Okay."

Is that actual guilt? That isn't influenced by a magical artifact? Yes. Yes it is.

"... I won't do it again."

From:

keep_busy

"Thank you. Believe it or not, being the only person who can help you with the secrecy safety valve for your crippling artifact-induced emotional issues imbues in me a sense of responsibility and I do not like it when my attempts to be responsible are thwarted. Stupidly."